Aaaaaaaannnnddd…the reason I felt like dozing most of yesterday revealed itself today in hacking, wheezing (a little), sneezing, and my sinuses feeling alternately stuffed up or scoured out with steel wool.
I was sick over New Year’s, and now again? I loathe this. I want my superpower back! The one where it didn’t matter if coworkers’ kids were sick, or if the coworkers were themselves sick, because I simply didn’t. Get. Sick. I went 10 years once without much more than a random sniffle. I’d really like that to be the status quo, and not this nonsense.
There is a part of me that’s wondering if it isn’t just the sick coworker and/or the one with the sick kids, though. I was sick on and off for weeks in the aftermath of losing the house with some sort of upper-respiratory crap, and I am coming up on the fourth anniversary of being officially homeless. And this is NOT how I want the “memorialize” that event, and I wonder if my immune system is remembering it for me.
Stop. Just STOP. I love you, my immune system, and I’m grateful you keep me as healthy as you do, but can we redact this “let’s recreate the physical circumstances in play at the time” because really. No damned fun.
And I don’t want to memorialize the emotionally traumatic stuff in the first place. Not saying I want to forget about it, but there have been too many instances where I’ve measured out my life based on the bad stuff (X amount of time since Mom’s death, since Steve’s death, etc.) and I want to stop doing that. Counterproductive at best, actively damaging to my mental state at worst.
Not that I quite know what to do about it at the moment. The sneezing, I mean, and the minor headache, and that annoying tickle at the back of the throat, and all the rest of it.
Want to feel better. Want to stop getting sick so often. Having my superpower back would be a good thing.